I gave up... What a wuss part 1: Moscow

Ok here's an overview of my what turned out to be two-week trip into the big wide world. Anyone who ever says "it's a small world" within my hearing range better be prepared for some indignant snorting and, if they're not very tall, possibly some flying-tackling.

We flew out to Moscow on the second, as planned. Met at the airport by a very Russian-looking driver, we were driven into Moscow. This took ages, and the views were fascinating then depressing, endless clumps of massive flats and other clumps of small houses surrounded by barren nothingness, intersected by this massive, straight road. This road knew it was a road, and shouted it out to the world. Whether it was happy about it or not I haven't decided.

We were dropped off in a hotel where they proceeded to take our passports off us for no given reason, and eventually we were sent up to a room. The hotel appeared to still be under construction, at east all the good bits, and at this point I was starting to feel ill with worry; where the hell are we?? I could tell you "Moscow" at that point, but no more other than possibly "not red square" and there was food to negotiate.

We went to the hotel restaurant and sat listening to Italian pop, for some reason, that didn't include vasco... I remember being disappointed by this. I ordered chicken with some kind of garlic sauce. I distinctly remember this because it wasn't the last time I saw it that night; I had the most violent session of throwing up and diarrhea that I have ever had. Fantastic! Shaking and weak with a decidedly worried Alex reading in the next bed, we sampled Russian TV long into the night. Nothing particularly jumps out at me, so I guess it was as bad as you are currently imagining.

The next day, after unpacking, dressing and repacking, we dragged our bags through the sleety streets of wintertime Moscow in search of a metro station. I would compare the area to hampstead meets a market area of London with windey bits and glass boxes selling dodgey DVD's. Miraculously, we went in a straight line from hotel to station despite not actually going by roads, and so began our day in Moscow. The metro there is admittedly spectacular; every station is a palace with chandeliers, but underground and also somehow bare at the same time as being elaborately decorated. Bits of it were crumbling into disrepair, but it was still amazing... in a "ooo its a train station" kind of way. We managed to navigate the system despite the language being close to unreadable, and went first to the station the trans-Siberian train was leaving from to drop off our bags. This was like no station I've ever seen before; inbetween the station and the platforms was a bustling market, and the main part of the station took us about an hour to find when we eventually got to waiting for the train. On the way back to the metro, we were accosted by a person of no fixed abode insisting that we give him $10 because we are rich, despite all appearances. First we went for an explore. This time we did end up getting lost on the tube, so we walked from a random station through central Moscow towards red square. We walked through the equivalent of Oxford street; I'll be honest, I couldn't tell the difference! Same brands, same cars, same clothes. It was weird to think of the completely different standard of living that what seemed like most of the population of the city must live in that we saw driving in from the airport. Everyone seemed so miserable and unfriendly; it really was just like London! After a lot of walking and at least one circle, we did end up in the neighborhood of Red Square. We decided to pop in to the underground shopping mall right next to it for some food or something, and so we did. This was a mistake. It was at least warm. We went and had a wander around, me getting more and more depressed, and stopped for a buffet of some of the worst food I've ever had (Alex will back me up on this).

Whilst eating, I first told Alex (day 2) that I might not make it through the trip if was going to carry on in this fashion. He was supportive and reassured me that he had thought of this and had backup plans and not to worry about him and to do what I wanted. Then we went to red square and it was fantastic. We just missed some ceremony or other, but oh well. It was huge! And cobbled! And Lenin was there with all his friends, and some walls, oo it was like one big party. Seriously, it was well worth seeing, and the colourful churchey thing whose name temporarily slips my mind at the end was amazing too, very art-deco. We bought some postcards and ooed and aahed at the views and the architecture and generally touristed it up for a while,before taking the scenic route to a nearby metro stop and going back to the station, where we sat in a massive marble-clad hall for hours on end playing game boys and reading until it was time to board the fabled "train".